lag in registrations

[mobile_bob]

sorry to all the new folks that have been trying to register of late, i went through the stack today to catch up
and some are out about 2 weeks or a bit more...

my Dad took ill and had to be put in ICU for about 13 days, and we just got him moved out of their and to another hospital about 30 miles closer to home for physical therapy to get his strength back.

he is a stubborn old fart (gosh i wonder where i got that) and puts off going to the dr. until he really feels bad, last year it was his heart failing (and i got him to the ER with maybe an hour before expiration) this year they think it all started with a blood clot in his lung(s)  resulting in renal failure, subsequent lung and heart near failure... and again it looks like he got there with little time to spare.

with all the stuff he needed done, and him not able to make good decisions, i finally got durable power of atty for healthcare and we know look like he will recover to a bit better than he was a few months ago.

needless to say this last couple weeks have been very stressful with long trips to and from the hospital, many meetings with specialists, bickering with siblings and all the other crap.

so... if anyone reading this is trying to get registered or if any of the members have friends trying to register and have not been able to do so, please accept my apologies and email me so i can get on top of that.

thanks guys
bob g

[veggie]

Hey Bob,

Many of us are dealing with aged parents these days.
My parents (in their 80's) got their house filled with water and 2000 lbs of mud during the big floods in Alberta this summer.
Had to be evacuated in a front end loader through 5 feet of river flowing through around their house.
Got out with the cloathing on their back.   Lots of stress.

Best of luck with your situation.  

cheers,
veggie

[Jens]

Best wishes Bob !

[glort]

I wish you the best for your father and Yourself Bob.

I do know what you are going through.
When I was 12 I moved out of home and in with my grandparents.  Grandad Died a few moths after and it was just gran and I after that.  As I got older it was me taking care of her, running her round to doctors and the hospital every so often.
I gave up a lot of my younger years looking after her but that was ok, If it hadn't of been for her in her 70's looking after a teenage boy instead of enjoying herself, I'd have wound up a street kid because I would not have stayed at home.

Gran passed away just before I got married and within a month of tying the know, My father in law who I loved dearly got sick with cancer so the first 12 months of married life were running round  taking care of him and trying to keep my own business afloat. It was a rough time but the funny thing was he had to see all the same doctors as my gran did ( even though she never had cancer) and by that time I was on a first name basis with them.

I feel for you Bob. I know about having to make medical decisions put on you by experts who don't want to take responsibility themselves, I know about arguing with family who aren't there and don't know 95% of what's going on and I know how you are on edge, always worried and can't relax even when you aren't thinking of things.

I sincerely wish you and your Dad all the best Bob. I'm not a religious person but I do believe in Karma so whichever way you put your faith, your kindness and good deeds will be returned one way or another.

Many of us are dealing with aged parents these days.

The reason I moved out of home was my mother was killed in a car accident and my father took up with the bitch from hell who made it impossible for me to stay there any longer. She did the right thing and died last year and my father was on the phone to me that night telling me he made mistakes and had regrets.
The last 18 months has been getting to know the father I'd long forgotten I had and it's sure been a trip.

Things have gone well and the best part is seeing him with my kids. They are 18 and 16 now but better late than never.  I have found myself getting unusually attached to him very quickly and while I still have a lot of issues with him, I figure the clock is ticking fast and at 75, I need to make the most of the time he has left.  That said, the way I am it is far from an unlikelihood that I could beat him to the Mahogany Boxes.

The thing is though, I don't know whether I have gained a father or another son.  I spend about the same time worrying about them both now.

The complication is he lives in the country 3.5 hours from me.  My deadbeat/criminal/ Psycho stepbrother lives next door who has put the old fella in hospital 3 times now beating him up because he wouldn't give him money or whatever it was he wanted.  His mother gave him handouts but now she has gone, things are getting desperate and I know where hell be looking for another fix. I'm hoping now that I'm back around he's thinking twice. Not that I think he's smart enough to be scared of anyone but maybe he's just gutless that the old fella has someone on his side and the clown whom I have had run ins with before knows there will be repercussions.
I just wish he would go try to steal or embezzle something else and get caught so he can get locked up and take one load off my mind. He has a long record of assults so maybe he could just pick on the wrong person and they would fix him up in more than one way AND getting him locked up for good measure.

The old fella is naturally scared of him and it impacts his life. He won't move back to the city with us because he holds the fears many country folks do when they have been away from the big smoke for a long time. He has a few, but not many friends up there ( thanks to the bitch) and it is his life and what he knows.
He also still runs a business and every time I visit I wonder how the hell thats going to be either wound up or sorted out with or without him.

I worry if he will hurt himself on the property, I worry if he'll have heart attack or similar and I worry if the certified Violent nut case the authorities won't do anything about next door will trip out and come over and do the old fella in.  If he does step foot on the property for any reason though, I will make sure the error of his ways is made clear by some people that are very effective communicators and behaviour modifiers. Hopefully he'll just stay the hell away but the odds of him doing the right thing or exhibiting any common sense have been repeatedly proven to not be good.

I really want the old fella to come live with us so I can look after him and keep an eye on him but it isn't going to happen. No matter how often I go up there, there is still so much time when he is alone and vulnerable to all sorts of things. Unfortunately it's just not practical to rip up my families lives to go to him and frankly we'd all go nuts in the small town he lives in.

It would be hard for him to uproot his life as well but if he does get sick, he may have no choice because I can't look after him 250 Miles away.  I have already asked him to sell up and I'll do the same and we'll buy a place with his own space so he can have company or privacy whatever he wants.  That was the same thing I asked my father in law about which he was looking forward to but unfortunately he never got that far.

It's a real funny thing me having a parent after all these years and while it's great, it's also a big worry that I could do without but can't shirk the responsibility of.
It will be interesting to see when My wife and I get to his age how our kids will be with us. Somehow, I don't think their generation will have the same sense of responsibility and worry about us that we hold for ours.

Hopefully I'm wrong.

[rl71459]

Hi Bob

Best wishes to you and your family. Even though I know how tough it can be having our loved ones ill. I also know how it is
to have lost them too early! I am 55 and my Dad passed 19 years ago, My Mom long before him. I miss them sooo much.

May your dad recover quickly! Best of luck to you and youre family & friends.

Sincerely
Rob L

[Henry W]

Hi Bob,
My wife, family and I have you and your family in our thoughts and prayers.

Henry,